Opening page of Avenging Glory

I've talked a lot about my novel in progress. This is page one of the current draft. Comments are more than welcome. Do you find this intriguing? Or is it offputting? It is in a different voice than most of the novel (and one of my Beta readers says the style and tone are misleading in that it doesn't hint at the action and wit that suffuse the rest of the book). But it does set readers up for a story where the trees are major characters.




“This is a pivotal moment in the histories of both our species!” The voice is warm, the elocution, precise. The humanoid figure on centre stage in everyone’s minds, bows deeply. Naked, its skin is the colour and texture of tree bark, and it displays neither male nor female characteristics.
“These sessions will teach you about the BioGrid and the history of your own society. We learned from Glory, not to give you the information all at once. It works best when learned in increments.” Standing straight and sweeping its hands down its body from shoulders to knees, it explained, “I hear what you’re thinking! We trees do not actually have little humans inside of us. What you are looking at is a mental construct called an avatar. I have assumed a vaguely human form in your minds, although, a few of you are apparently disturbed that I have no face.” The Narrator laughed, to lighten the mood, as recommended in old public speaking tutorials, but the mood didn’t get any lighter.
“It demonstrates that we don’t need mouths to talk, here, because this is all happening inside our minds. In a moments, you will have a chance to start reliving key experiences, from the perceptions of the people and the trees who actually shaped history to make this day possible.”
“Be aware, that when you join this elite community, your thoughts, hopes, dreams, and memories will be accessible to others. You will eventually gain greater control of the data flow, in and out, and learn to stop other individuals from seeing what you don’t want them to see. But that will take time and training. In the meantime, we need your permission to proceed. If you understand and agree to our terms, simply tell us …by imagining that you’re speaking to us. If you don’t agree, please pull gently on the rootlet to disconnect.”
We’ll now begin our historical recap of the past 323 years, 18 days, 7 minutes 27.88 seconds – in the order that events happened, and through the perceptions of the participants, wherever possible.

Comments

  1. Love the photo. Love the first paragraph. It's concise and does enough to pique my interest and keep me reading. I do still prefer the original opener, i.e, straight into chapter 1 without this little prologue, and I agree with the beta reader about the style and tone being misleading, but I'm surprised at how much I actually like it.

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