C...C....C...Courage
A few times in my life, I’ve taken big risks and the results
were both world-changing and emotion charged. After the fact, I have never
regretted having taken those risks.
But as I get older, I find the notion of change and the spectre
of dealing with intense emotion more frightening.
Over the past 5 years with my day job, I have run into numerous roadblocks where the at
least one of the options for getting past them (usually the most exciting
option) involved taking significant risk. I have backed away from those – and in
almost every case, the result was a perpetuation of the status quo – but with a
bit less pizzazz and enthusiasm. Looking back, I have regretted my lack of
courage in every one of those instances.
I ask myself why am I so risk averse now? Middle age is the
perfect time to walk the tightrope across the falls. My life expectancy is
relatively short - and with the diminishing relevance that inevitably
accompanies old age – my life expectancy as a contributing member of society is
probably measurable on a good daytimer.
So rather than trying to keep my world at a comfy 27 degrees
until I die choking on the styrofoam peanuts of my soul I should jump into the
abyss. Chances are it only comes up to my knees – and even if it’s much deeper –
the option of going out with my heart pumping and a scream of exhilaration on
my lips is much more appealing than the slowly sinking and choking option.
The time for playing it safe is over.
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