C...C....C...Courage

A few times in my life, I’ve taken big risks and the results were both world-changing and emotion charged. After the fact, I have never regretted having taken those risks.

But as I get older, I find the notion of change and the spectre of dealing with intense emotion more frightening.

Over the past 5 years with my day job, I have run into numerous roadblocks where the at least one of the options for getting past them (usually the most exciting option) involved taking significant risk. I have backed away from those – and in almost every case, the result was a perpetuation of the status quo – but with a bit less pizzazz and enthusiasm. Looking back, I have regretted my lack of courage in every one of those instances.

I ask myself why am I so risk averse now? Middle age is the perfect time to walk the tightrope across the falls. My life expectancy is relatively short - and with the diminishing relevance that inevitably accompanies old age – my life expectancy as a contributing member of society is probably measurable on a good daytimer.

So rather than trying to keep my world at a comfy 27 degrees until I die choking on the styrofoam peanuts of my soul I should jump into the abyss. Chances are it only comes up to my knees – and even if it’s much deeper – the option of going out with my heart pumping and a scream of exhilaration on my lips is much more appealing than the slowly sinking and choking option.

The time for playing it safe is over.
I write literature of the fantastic. My short story collection, Psychedelia Gothique is mostly psychological horror. My just released novel, The Human Template is available through most online book retailers - and book two of the diptych, The Carnivorous Forest will appear in 2021. https://www.dalelsproule.com As a book reviewer I have written for Rue Morgue Magazine and AE Science Fiction. As a visual artist, I have illustrated books and magazines and have carved numerous sculptures out of stone.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Review of C.J. Lavigne's In Veritas

Image
I am not a particularly fast reader, but I did spend an unprecedented amount of time immersed in C.J. Lavigne’s debut novel, In Veritas . It is a story ostensibly about communication in which the major character, named Verity, is pretty much unable to communicate in the usual manner. The crossed-wires in her brain give her a severe case of synesthesia which lock her into her own somewhat non-sensical world and contributed strongly to making her an outcast from a very young age. – with the added complication that people have an impossible time lying in her presence. She escapes from incarceration in a mental health facility with Jacob, a wealthy young man who seems to be somewhere in the autistic spectrum. Having been cheated out of control of his family fortune, he does pretty well on the stipend he receives. Jacob and Verity live together in an affectionate - although emotionally distant and seemingly platonic -  relationship where he switches career paths every five minutes and
Read more

Becoming a Legend in my Own Mind - and why that might be good enough

Over 50 published short stories and no novel. What’s that about? I’ve been writing seriously since I was about 15. For a few years, in the late 80s and early 90s, I was fairly prolific, publishing upwards of eight stories in one year. I spent a long time pushing the envelope, trying to be edgy – and I even succeeded on occassion. One in three stories I’ve written over my lifetime was good enough to be selected to appear in my collection, Psychedelia Gothique , which contained 17 stories – several of which had been nominated for Aurora Awards, Pushcart Prizes and the like. A number of my stories appeared in small scale “Best of” anthologies – with pieces in Wild Things Live There ( The Best of Northern Frights ), The Best of Eotu Magazine , and the Sign of the Times 20 Year Anthology . A couple of my pieces appeared in newsstand magazines and in the same table of contents with some of my favourite authors. Writers I admire reviewed several of my stories very favourably. A magazine
Read more

The Book After Which Everything is Different

Image
I’ve never called myself a Chuck Palahniuk fan. I’ve been aware of him only since the  Fight Club  movie and have read only  Invisible Monsters  and  Fight Club . I’ve never been to one of his readings, though they seem to be pretty amazing and I’ll probably catch one if I get a chance. While looking him up online, I came upon a piece of his writing advice on Litreactor about avoiding the use of thought verbs. It was genius. It spoke directly to me and my worst tendencies as a writer like no teacher or article has before – and it came to me at exactly the right time. IE: while I’m on the fourth draft of the novel and that level of editing is at its easiest (which is a bit like saying it’s easiest jumping the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle when the sun isn’t directly in your eyes). When I discovered that Palahniuk had written an entire book on writing, it seemed like a good investment, even if all I was doing by buying it was paying him properly for the thought verb essay. I am del
Read more